Twin Flames, defined: Contained in the disturbing Netflix docuseries

Think about a bunch that guarantees that will help you discover your soul mate. What might be extra pure?

Once I stumbled throughout the idea of “twin flames” years in the past, my instant response was to roll my eyes: On a distinct segment nook of the online, a neighborhood of recent age practitioners was trumpeting the concept of an intense cosmic romantic connection, directly each sexual and religious, that was stronger than any run-of-the-mill soul mate may ever be. To seek out your “twin flame,” you needed to be uniquely attuned to the universe … or else you needed to pay individuals who claimed to have the ability to establish your twin flame for you.

On its face, this concept would possibly sound like an easy rip-off, the sort that always manipulates and commodifies new age practices and beliefs as a way to rip off folks in search of love. And it was: One “twin flame” guru named Jeff Ayan used the idea to fund a million-dollar way of life constructed from the income of his (paradoxically not-for-profit) group, the Twin Flames Universe, or TFU.

However the TFU is rather more than only a matchmaking service and money-making scheme. Former members of the group allege Ayan makes use of cult-like coercion and multilevel advertising and marketing ways to manage his followers. Over the course of its three episodes, Escaping Twin Flames offers us a really disturbing, usually surprising glimpse into the maintain that Ayan exerts over his “twin flames” neighborhood — one which goes far past relationship recommendation towards controlling each facet of his followers’ lives, with every part from their romantic companions to their gender identities dictated by his whims.

Whereas Ayan and his spouse Shaleia insist their group isn’t a cult, Escaping Twin Flames will not less than make sure that you by no means take into consideration soul mates in fairly the identical method once more.

The “Twin Flame” builds on the double-edged premise of soul mates

It’s perhaps essential to incorporate a disclaimer up high that even should you imagine in real love, the way in which we’re about to debate soul mates is just not actual. You’ll shortly see why the concept of a cosmically ordained excellent romantic match you could actually by no means escape from might be each damaging and harmful.

Advocates of “twin flames” level to varied Hindu teachings and different Asian religious practices and writings as proof that the theme of cosmically aligned soul mates has existed all through historical past and throughout cultures. The particular “twin flame” notion, nonetheless, was first popularized in 1999 because of American New Age spiritualist Elizabeth Clare Prophet, by way of her “pocket information” ebook, Soul Mates and Twin Flames: The Non secular Dimension of Love and Relationships.

Prophet’s strategy to soul mates attracts on the Hindu perception in karma and the Buddhist idea of yin and yang, but in addition suits totally inside an evangelical Christian view. She argues, full with Bible verses, you could’t discover your excellent match till you might be aligned with God. “It’s our relationship to God and our Increased Self that holds the important thing to discovering and turning into one with our twin flame,” she writes. In different phrases, one’s twin flame is greater than only a soul mate. The connection is a manifestation of an individual’s relationship with the divine, and the 2 of them are supposed to assist one another proceed alongside a mutual path to enlightenment.

Prophet claims that our separation from our excellent soul mate is a punishment from the divine due to our riot towards “cosmic legislation,” so all of us are searching for to get again into the universe’s good graces so we will reunite with our different half. It’s an idea seen in every single place from Plato to Hedwig and the Indignant Inch. Right here, let Marisa Tomei clarify.

Proponents of “twin flames” have developed much more esoteric variations of Prophet’s explicit narrative. Some of the widespread threads is the declare that solely 144,000 precise “twin flames” exist — so solely 72,000 {couples} all through historical past have certified. The quantity 144,000 occurs to be big in area of interest religions, because of its significance within the biblical Guide of Revelation. It’s additionally not a complete lot of individuals, in whole. (And should you’re pondering that gatekeeping who will get to be a super-special twin flame is an effective option to get folks to spend money on the notion that they’re “chosen” for one thing uncommon and divinely ordained, nicely … simply wait.)

The core attribute of Prophet’s imaginative and prescient of the “twin flame” is that it’s everlasting. “The factor about this karmic marriage or relationship that you’re into is you could by no means get out of it,” she writes. “Nobody in heaven or on earth can separate you out of your twin flame.”

This proclamation is a double-edged sword: On the one hand, it virtually guarantees the believer a fortunately ever after, if they’ll solely acknowledge their twin flame and align themselves accordingly. However on the opposite, as we’ll quickly see, this strain can doubtlessly be devastating to somebody concerned in an abusive relationship, who’s then led to imagine they’re destined to be tied to that individual ceaselessly, or anybody on the receiving finish of romantic delusion from a real believer who unilaterally determines that individual to be their twin flame.

Witness one very discomfiting remark on a “twin flame” weblog from 2019: “I met my twin soul, and she or he is 50 years youthful than I’m … I’m questioning what it means for somebody (i.e. my twin soul) so younger and inexperienced on this life.” There’s no good end result in any respect right here, buddy!

All of that is the final backdrop to the “twin flame” phenomenon. It units the stage for the entry into the sector of a self-styled guru who discovered about “twin flames” from his girlfriend after which turned it into — nicely. You’ll see.

It solely takes one shaky religious idea and a manipulative guru to make a coercively managed group

Jeff Ayan studied enterprise at Western Michigan College earlier than transferring to Hawaii in his early 20s, the place he glided by the identify Ender Ayanethos and styled himself as a “way of life design entrepreneur.” His decade-old web site, with its assertions that “His mission is to encourage you to dwell a acutely aware, heart-centered way of life now,” reads like a religious chief in coaching, whereas his contemporaneous social media, with mantras together with “I all the time get what I need” and “I’m a frontrunner, and once I categorical my concepts I’m simply describing my actuality. I’m not involved with anybody’s approval,” implies a extra dominant, assertive aspect to his persona.

Ayan met Shaleia — actual identify Megan Plante — on-line within the early 2010s. They shortly married and moved to Michigan. In keeping with YouTube movies the couple made, as proven within the documentary, Shaleia first launched Jeff to quite a lot of new age practices like tarot studying and twin flames, which he shortly adopted. Though Shaleia was the one who launched Jeff to the idea, Jeff has clearly made himself the unquestioned chief of the Twin Flames group.

The connection between Jeff and Shaleia is meant to be the largest draw of their Twin Flames Universe neighborhood. By branding themselves as the right couple, they’re additionally advertising and marketing their relationship as one thing they’ll educate others to have, and as vloggers they cultivated a gradual viewers. Since they created their YouTube channel in 2014 (styling themselves as “Jeff and Shaleia Divine”), they’ve gained practically 30,000 subscribers and garnered over 3 million views. The TFU Fb group reportedly boasts 40,000 members and counting — members who could have been drawn in just because they had been trying to find details about love and attraction to folks outdoors of the group.

Their success led to the publication of a ebook about twin flames and a coterie of teaching companies for these inquisitive about pursuing the “twin flame” path, all marketed beneath the group Twin Flames Universe. As taught by Ayan, the concept of discovering a “twin flame” quickly developed into a complete way of life largely dictated by his teachings and trainings. And these trainings had been costly. As reported by Sarah Berman and Sian Bradley for Vice in 2020 and 2021, respectively, prices to take part in TFU programs and workshops ranged from $699 to $4,000, and got here with intense strain to stage up.

It’s unimaginable to overstate what an abrasive persona Ayan has, as captured extensively on movie in Escaping Twin Flames. He incessantly speaks in a grating, mocking voice. He asserts to queer members of the group that queer identification isn’t actual, and seems unfazed when members break down sobbing in convention calls. He berates, interrupts, and belittles group members, together with his spouse, whom he usually talks right down to and forbids from talking. At one level, he describes throwing Shaleia down on the mattress and forcing himself on her.

The Jeff/Shaleia bond is meant to be the glue maintaining the group collectively. In actuality, the documentary captures video after video of Shaleia sitting silent, solely to be instantly shot down or talked over when she does converse up. Their relationship comes throughout as something however idyllic; if something, it incessantly appears strained and compelled.

Ayan allegedly instructs members of the group to aggressively pursue their purported different halves in any respect prices. The pondering goes that being somebody’s “twin flame” trumps every part else taking place in your life — even should you by no means agreed to be co-opted into the “twin flame” idea to start with. In Escaping Twin Flames, when one group member is coping with the truth that her alleged twin flame is a person who was residing in one other state, in a relationship with one other lady, and about to have a child, Ayan tells her, “None of that fucking issues.”

In keeping with one former TFU member, a number of members of the group had restraining orders as a result of Ayan basically inspired them to turn out to be stalkers and to “aggressively pursue” the item of their affection. When she acquired a restraining order, she alleges, Ayan and different TFU coaches instructed her the restraining order didn’t truly exist, implying that she may overcome it together with her thoughts.

Jeff and Shaleia Ayan have repeatedly insisted, each in statements to Vice in addition to statements posted on their web site (and included as disclaimers on the finish of every episode of the Netflix collection) that they aren’t a cult and don’t have interaction in cult-like practices.

But Ayan’s makes an attempt to insist he wasn’t a cult chief truly drove some members to the alternative realization. “Jeff instructed us to observe Seduced and The Vow and write a complete essay as to why Jeff is not a cult chief,” a former coach named Keely says within the documentary. “Each level we had been coming throughout once we had been doing this analysis was pointing to the truth that he was, the truth is, a cult chief.”

The truth is, over the course of Escaping Twin Flames, Ayan does a litany of issues which are a veritable bingo card of cult tropes:

• He insists that solely he, out of everybody on Earth, is enlightened sufficient to inform who an individual’s twin flame is. Cult leaders practically all the time purport to have a particular religious energy that makes them distinctive out of all different religious guides.
• He separates members from their households, usually by convincing them that their households have been abusive to them. It is a basic type of cult management. The documentary collection introduces us to a help group of moms who’ve all been absolutely or practically solely separated from their kids as a result of their involvement within the group.
• He institutes a rigorously managed way of life routine, dictating every part from how members ought to eat and train to when/if they need to get married. One couple, who in the end wind up leaving the group collectively, get married after simply two months of courting after Ayan tells them they’re soul mates.
• He creates a system of isolation that deems anybody not within the Twin Flames Universe neighborhood a suspicious or unenlightened one who isn’t to be trusted. That is described as “power leaks” within the collection — the concept any power you give towards anybody who’s not your twin flame or not a member of the neighborhood is wasted, a “leak.”
• He claims, as numerous cult leaders have, to be the reincarnation of Jesus. As Ayan leans extra into the concept of Twin Flames Universe as a spiritual non-profit, he more and more kinds himself to resemble Jesus, rising his hair lengthy and remarking on his resemblance to the biblical illustration of Christ. (Ayan is white, and never Jewish.)
• He facilitates “therapeutic” periods that emphasize private failings and function an ongoing type of coercive management. That is just like the method of many different cults, corresponding to Scientology’s notorious auditing periods. Former TFU members report being compelled to do therapeutic periods that last as long as 24 hours. These periods in addition to a routine follow known as the “mirror train” are designed to maintain members in a relentless state of turbulence and upheaval, excavating private trauma and points that will or might not be actual, all as a way to preserve a state of disaster and additional dependence and reliance on the steering of Ayan, the coaches, and different members of the group. In keeping with the docuseries, Ayan presents members’ private issues as manifestations of how damaged and broken they’re as people.
• He arranges relationships and marriages inside the group, basically ordering sure members to get collectively by advantage of telling them that they’re each other’s twin flames. All the idea of a “twin flame” is that it’s distinctive and everlasting, and your complete foundation for Ayan’s alleged religious powers is that he’s the one one who can establish an individual’s distinctive everlasting cosmically ordained twin flame. But a number of members are initially knowledgeable that their twin flame is one individual, solely to have Jeff change his thoughts and assign them a distinct twin flame, usually after the primary individual has left the group.
• He pressures members to take a position an increasing number of cash in this system, both by “leveling up” to turn out to be a extra central a part of the group, or by buying one more product provided by the group. Whereas he and Shaleia bragged about driving Porsches, residing in a mansion, and sporting designer style, they inspired members to shell out 1000’s of {dollars} to buy group supplies and coaching periods. One former TFU member experiences spending $20,000 simply to turn out to be an authorized TFU coach.

“Those that stayed ended up going deeper and deeper,” one former TFU member says within the documentary.

In a single facet, The Twin Flames Universe neighborhood goes a lot additional than typical cults would possibly: Ayan insists that sure members are both “spiritually masculine” or “spiritually female,” and that they should settle for and categorical their true gender. This strain incessantly escalates into strain for members to transform to a distinct gender expression altogether. Since Ayan denies the existence of homosexuality and nonbinary identification, this trick makes it simpler for him to extra successfully organize relationships between members of the neighborhood, most of whom are girls.

It additionally, after all, is an excessive type of coercive management, and it could actually’t be overstated that the modes of coercion on this group don’t have anything to do with precise trans identification. Certainly, one former member of TFU who is trans left the group as a result of she noticed by way of Ayan’s makes an attempt to coerce members into artificially altering their gender expressions. One other former member named Angie discovered herself first being pressured to just accept that she was “spiritually masculine” and to decorate and magnificence herself as more and more butch. After growing a crush on one other lady within the group, this escalated into strain to dwell and current as a person, together with altering her identify. Angie lastly broke and left the group, resuming life as a cisgender lady.

Some of the heartwrenching tales recounted in Escaping Twin Flames considerations a younger lady named Marlee who joined the group on the age of 19, solely to be instructed by Ayan that her twin flame was a random stranger who had messaged her on Fb. The person turned out to be 11 years older than Marlee, with no job, extreme psychological well being issues, and a legal file. Nonetheless, Ayan coerced Marlee into transferring to a distinct state as a way to be with him, regardless that in her personal phrases, “I didn’t like this man; he was creepy.” In a single video early of their relationship, a sobbing Marlee relates the legal issues her new twin flame is having, clearly distraught. “Everybody has points,” a supremely unbothered Ayan tells her. “You must take a look at this because the prequel to your union.” After residing like this for 3 years, Marlee in the end concludes that “the one who I believed was my twin flame was just a few random man I used to be compelled to be with.”

Different TFU members had been coerced into transferring throughout states to dwell with their twin flames, even when they’d simply met. Some had been coerced into altering their names or getting gender reassignment surgical procedure or different associated surgical procedure. The group additionally appears to institute hierarchies of abuse, with higher-level coaches passing alongside to newer members the abusive ways and orders Ayan used on them. One member, in keeping with the documentary, died by suicide shortly after becoming a member of the group. The group, in keeping with Escaping Twin Flames, disclaims that it’s not a psychological well being remedy group, however internally enforces the concept members ought to look to its teachings for all their psychological wellness.

It’s essential to do not forget that higher-up members of TFU are most definitely additionally topic to intense types of coercive management and persuasive ways that preserve them from questioning their position within the group too deeply. However there’s hope. Practically the entire former TFU members featured in Escaping Twin Flames, together with a number of members in positions of authority, departed from the group after exposés of the group appeared in Vice and different media shops. The affect of Escaping Twin Flames debuting at No. 1 on the Netflix High 10 in its first week of launch can’t be overstated. Even when it could actually’t attain everybody who’s dedicated to the Ayans and their neighborhood, maybe it is going to attain the following individual in search of cosmic solutions to life’s questions — earlier than they turn out to be a goal for a self-styled guru with something however divine intentions.